An emotional bank account has nothing to do with money but emotions only. Most couples don’t fight about real issues like finances, sex, and difficult inlaws but about the inability to connect emotionally. A heated argument or discussion can ensue around these issues only because one spouse did not pay attention to others’ needs!
Partners must be available emotionally and express interest in things that the other party cares about to avoid most conflicts. Although you might not spell out the science behind loss of interest to a spouse, an emotional bank account can help bring estranged partners closer.
The ability to connect emotionally and develop a sense of intimacy will depend on the level of a relationship and meeting your partner’s needs. Negativity and lack of support in a relationship weaken emotional closeness in a romantic relationship.
When a couple does not see eye to eye, picks arguments more often, less time in communicating, silence is some of the indications of emotional bankruptcy. All these factors will lead to less attachment than a disconnect. Romantic partners need to create intimate and positive bids often to avoid sinking the ship.
Avoid capitalizing on your partner’s weak points and, instead, help to compliment them positively. Avail yourself even if you are a busy individual by creating time for small gestures like a call, having lunch together, walking the dog together, and going out of your way to do what your partner likes regardless if you want it or not. In short, involve yourself in your partner’s life, and your life together will be more comfortable and enjoyable.
The loss of interest in a partner is not because they are no longer attractive or kinky! No, it is because you assume most things and make yourself unavailable emotionally. Every person has unique emotional needs, which is why you should view your relationship as an investment where you deposit a little currency of emotions every day into your emotional bank account.
Your partner’s unique emotional needs are the currency in which you are required to invest in. For example, if your partner likes compliments and kind words, gifts, or physical touch, it is upon you to know and deposit whatever they want often. Don’t wait until they have to ask! If this happens, then know your Emotional Account is empty, nearing closure.
Ways to make Emotional Bank Account Investments
1. A simple hello to others.
Most times, you may be deeply involved in your issues to notice other people. A simple greeting may go a long way beyond a simple word. Reach out to others to see how they are because you may initiate a conversation that puts some currency in your savings.
2. Understand others
Everyone is hurting differently. During a conversation, take a few minutes to understand the other person. Empathizing can build trust and make the other person trust you more, and that way, you deposit some currency into a relationship.
3. Serve Others Before Yourself
Putting other people is a great way to invest in any relationship. Serve others’ needs by giving a gift, making them dinner, and helping do the laundry, among other small gestures. When one feels you have made them a priority, they will always be indebted to you. Always do it genuinely from the heart.
4. The relationship should come before Resources.
A good relationship is stable, even in the absence of resources. In business, people buy from trusted sellers. Trust is the basis of any relationship, and you must build it before you try to place the selling idea on the table or across your mind.
5. Have some ‘Me’ Time
You cannot invest in others while you are emotionally empty. You need to create and have some time each week to build savings that you can share with others genuinely. Make sure you are emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally healthy. When you are strong, it is easier to give to others.
6. Move towards, and not away.
Always acknowledging what your partner tells you shows that you care. A response is a good sign you are listening and following a conversation. As a result, your partner knows that you listen and care hence a deposit towards a better relationship.
Sometimes put the shoe on the other foot: Ask yourself, what if I said something and no one paid attention? It wouldn’t feel good at all. So, don’t put others in that position.
An insufficient emotional bank account will lead you to notice your partner’s weaknesses. A rich one will always have something to share and extend a hand to the other person. Be ready to be of service, empathize with others, and be careful to make them feel wanted and necessary.
When you understand a person’s currency, providing it will not be an issue. You don’t need to make a substantial one-time deposit, but small deposits will make it easy and doable.